Perfection Wasted

"And another regrettable thing about death is the ceasing of your own brand of magic, which took a whole life to develop and market--the quips, the witticisms, the slant adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears, their tears confused with their diamond earrings, their warm breath pooled in and out with your heartbeat, their response and your performance twinned. The jokes over the phone. The memories packed in the rapid-access file. The whole act. Who will do it again? That's it: no one; imitators and descendants aren't the same."

- John Updike

Thomas Dunn, The Olde Truth Teller, my father and friend, passed away on August 24th, 2010. He was fun and funny, stubborn, loyal, engaged and informed, smart, generous, wonderful. There aren't words to describe the man who always knew what to say. Thank you all for reading. And thank you Poppy, for everything.

Gillian Dunn

Obama Potential Cuts Both Ways

“Potential just means you ain't done it yet.” Darrell Royal, College Football Hall of Fame coach.


A week or so after winning the Nobel Peace Prize, President Obama awoke to find that the awards hadn’t stopped flowing. As he scanned his copy of USA Today while waiting for breakfast to arrive, he noticed an article below the fold that really caught his attention, so much so that he picked up the phone and ordered up an immediate meeting with his chief political advisor David Tierod and his Chief of Staff Rahm Ezekiel.

Five minutes later, the three men sat in the Oval Office and looked at each other with a mixture of bemusement and angst. The newspaper article reported a new award for Obama that none of them either anticipated or welcomed.

“Obama wins Wildoo Award,” Barack read aloud, “for most potential harm to world peace.”

“What is that?” Tierod asked.

“I’ve never heard of it before,” replied Ezekiel, “but it doesn’t sound like a good thing.”

“According to this story,” Barack told them, “this award is given once every decade to whomever has the most inherent capability to damage world peace. Apparently they believe that’s me.”

“Who gives out the award?” Tierod asked.

Barack read for a bit longer, and then answered the question. “The Principality of Potenzia. It’s some little chunk of real estate stuck in Europe between Moldavia and Transylvania.”

“What a joke,” laughed Ezekiel.

Tierod shook his head. “Don’t be too quick to blow this story off, Zeke. Anything negative that gets the attention of the media has the potential to become a political problem.”

“Oh, give me a break, David, there’s no ‘there’ there.”

Later in the morning, Robert Gibbs stopped into the Oval Office to ask the President how he should handle the Wildoo Award questions he expected at today’s press conference.

“The Washington press folks have already called about this. They want to know what bad stuff the award committee knows about you that might lead them to give you this award.”

“Nothing, man. You can’t give someone an award for being a threat to world peace before they’ve done anything to warrant it.”

“I called the U.N. rep for Potenzia, and they say it isn’t necessary to actually do anything bad, only to have the power to do it. The guy told me they started working on this award back in 2002 when Bush invaded Iraq, but it took them this long to decide on the rules. Then they got into an argument between themselves about whether they should give a prize for possible bad deeds. Some of the committee members thought it was a stretch.”

“So why did they end up deciding to do it?”

“The Nobel Prize you just got tipped the balance in the committee.”

“That’s crazy. It’s more plausible to think that I’ll do good deeds rather than evil stuff.”

“Maybe to you, but potential is potential. One more thing the U.N. guy told me. There’s a prize that goes with the award.”

Oh, really?” Obama perked up. “How much do I give away to charity this time?”

“Actually, it’s a negative award.”

“Huh!”

“It’s the same size as the Peace Prize, except that you pay them.”

“Do I get the money back if I don’t harm world peace?”

“Only if you have to give the money back to the Nobel committee if you don’t benefit world peace.”

“The whole thing is crazy!” snapped Obama.

“That’s what I told the press folks, boss. The whole thing is crazy.”

Barry D. Prez Peddles The Baucomobile

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." ... George W. Bush


A continuation of the struggle by Barry D. Prez to sell Mr. John Q. Public a serviceable new car when none is available.

A month or so after checking in at Executive Auto Sales for any information about the new car line supposedly being developed by the manufacturer’s design team, and being disappointed by the ridiculous prototype on display, John Q. Public received a phone call from Sales Manager of the Year Barry D. Prez letting him know that things were beginning to look up.

“Mr. Public,” Barry said excitedly, “have I got a deal for you!”

John Q. had learned from previous experiences at Executive Sales to be very suspicious about any good news, but his old car was really starting to frighten him now because it had developed a tendency to shake while he was driving to work and no mechanic he consulted could seem to fix it even though they kept charging him more and more money just to take a look. John Q. really needed that car because he was getting too old to walk to his job every day, and a total breakdown would be disastrous to his finances. So he agreed to head over to Executive Sales one more time even though he didn’t count on much having changed. But when he arrived and walked through the big transparent front doors for the third time, Barry D. Prez grabbed him by the arm and guided him toward one side of the showroom where a shiny new car sat waiting to be inspected.

“I’ve been working with the manufacturer,” Barry told him. “I even went out to their plant and spoke directly with the company President and Chief Designer Mack Bauco. He gave me a tour of their facility, and I had a chance to talk directly with the entire design team. Nice bunch of guys, mostly.”

“What did they have to say?”

“They’re close, John Q., very close. I was able to wrangle a prototype car for shipment back home, and here it is. I think it’s pretty nice looking, especially considering that part of their factory crew is on strike,”

“You mean that the reason you haven’t been able to sell me a new car is that the factory is in some kind of turmoil?”

“Unfortunately true, but the ones who aren’t walking around the plant holding signs and shouting insults are hard at work trying to do whatever they can to get into production. It doesn’t help that a few of them sympathize with the guys outside, but they claim that one way or another they will have new cars to ship by next month. Of course, the ideal design may have to be compromised a little because Mr. Bauco wants to avoid antagonizing the strikers by including anything in the design that they would refuse to assemble once the strike is over. But whatever gets left out at the beginning can be added later once the situation calms down and sales start to rise.”

“What about the car?” John Q. said. “Is it any good?”

“Absolutely. Take a look for yourself.”

John Q. inspected the vehicle and found that all the wacky features he had seen a month ago on the earlier display model seemed to have been cleaned up. The wheels were normal, the paint job seemed okay, and it had useable windows even though they were the old crank style. Looking closer, he found that there were no fancy gadgets that he might have expected in a new car – no air conditioning, CD player, power seats, or anything else – and the transmission was a standard shift. But at least it looked drivable.

“What do they call this model?” he asked.

“It’s a Baucomobile,” Barry said happily. “It’s like the old Model T. No fancy options, just a plain car that runs okay.”

“What about other models,” John Q. asked.

“There aren’t any. This is it.”

John Q. was not thrilled about buying a drab looking new car with no options, but he was willing to consider it because of the sorry state of his old vehicle, so he said, “Let’s look under the hood.” Barry winced a little but complied by raising the hood to show off the engine compartment. Mounted inside was a two-cylinder Briggs and Stratton lawnmower engine.

“Damn All Mighty!” John Q. shouted, and walked straight out into the parking lot, with Barry D. Prez trailing behind. As John Q. headed in the direction of home, Barry called out for him to stop, but John Q. just waived his arm and kept walking.

“Come back John Q.,” Barry yelled. “It’s not perfect, but – hey! - anything is better than nothing.”

Barry D. Prez, Part Two

"They say I need to be seasoned; they say I need to be stewed. They say, 'We need to boil all the hope out of him -- like us -- and then he'll be ready.'"

Barack Obama Criticizing Hillary Clinton’s Experience Claims at a Campaign Rally 1/19/2008

Further Exploits of Salesman of the Year Barry D. Prez

One sunny morning in August, a flashy brochure was mailed to the middle-class home of Mr. John Q. Public that contained good news from Executive Sales, the only local auto dealer in town. John Q. was surprised to see that buying himself a new car might be possible after all, so he hotfooted it down to the fancy new dealership and peeked though the large transparent glass doors for a glimpse of Sales Manager Barry D. Prez. Nobody seemed to be inside the showroom and – as before, during his earlier visit – there were no autos on display. Taped on the front door was a sign with a large arrow pointing off to the right. As he stood and stared, crowd noise attracted his attention. Just down the block, John Q. spotted another auto dealer that he had never before noticed. Since Barry didn’t seem to be available, he strolled over to take a look at the competition.

What he found was a used car dealer named Barry & Gopper’s Tried and True Autos. Scattered around in a front parking lot full of used cars were several agitated people waving signs and shouting things like “Sellout” and “Weasel.” Like the other dealership, there seemed to be no salesman in the small office building at the back of the lot.

“What’s going on?” John Q. asked the nearest protestor.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” he snapped back. “I’m trying to find the guy who runs this place. He’s the same guy who ran the vacant dealership up the street. I came down here to buy a new car, and all I see here are a bunch of old clunkers. I made a down payment for a new car last November, and this is what he has for sale. My old car is nickel-and-diming me to death, and I expected something more for my money.”

John Q. was disappointed and relieved at the same time. On the one hand, he began to think that he had wasted his time coming down here again, but he was also happy that at least he hadn’t given Barry D. Prez any down payment money. Still, what difference did it make if he was going to be stuck with his own clunker that he could barely afford to keep on the road. Nothing he saw in the lot looked any better than the car he already owned, so he walked back to Executive Sales where his car was parked. As he approached the building, Barry D. peeked around the far corner and waved him over.

“Are they still mad?” he asked.

“They don’t seem very happy,” John Q. warned him. “ Why don’t you just call them over and sell them a new car, like your brochure says?”

“I’d like to, John Q., but there’s a small problem.” He led John Q. through a side door into the showroom. Hidden behind two office dividers sat a new car with the hood up. John Q. inspected the car, and burst out laughing.

“Barry, what is this contraption?” The car looked like it had at least five different paint jobs covering different body parts, it had no windows, and it was supported on bicycle wheels. Worst of all, there was no engine.

“I asked the manufacturer to send me a prototype last week, and this is what came on the trailer,” Barry complained. “When the first few prospective buyers came in to take a look, I couldn’t very well show them what I had. So naturally I said I didn’t have anything yet and blamed it on the manufacturer. Then they got mad and started throwing eggs at my front door. So I rented a vacant lot, bought some old cars at an auction, and set up my used car dealership down the street. Now everyone is still mad because the cars are clunkers, but it’s the most I can do right now.”

“Why don’t you complain to the manufacturer? Better yet, tell them what you want and make them build it?”

“If I did that, then the manufacturer will be mad at me. I didn’t get into this business to take grief from everyone. I’m doing the best I can. I just hope I can stay in business a few more years.”

When John Q. arrived back home, he sat down at his kitchen table and re-read the fancy sales brochure, then shook his head. “I guess I’d better get myself some good hiking shoes,” he mumbled.

Barack Obama - Behind The 'Birther' Controversy

“It is completely unimportant. That is why it is so interesting!”
Agatha Christie (1890 – 1976), English Mystery Writer

Questions of eligibility to hold the office of President of the United States have been raised several times over the history of the republic starting with Chester A. Arthur and continuing through Barry Goldwater, George Romney, and John McCain, but most recently centering on accusations that Barack Obama is either not a “natural born citizen” as required originally by Article 2 of the U.S. Constitution, or is not a citizen of the United States at all. Arguments for this break into two categories:

1. Barack Obama is not a “natural born citizen” as defined in Article 2, Clause 5 Qualifications for Office of the US Constitution.

2. Barack Obama is not an actual “citizen by birth” as defined by the Immigration and Nationalization Act of 1952.

The first argument rests on the direct language of Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 which states:

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

The term “natural born citizen” is not defined, therefore descends from English Common Law that assigns citizenship by place of birth within the jurisdiction of a nation. The purpose of this term was to restrict foreign born persons from becoming commander-in-chief of an American army on American soil. Because it is vague, subsequent law has attempted to better define it. The United States Naturalization Law of 1790 expanded “natural born citizen” to include persons born outside US jurisdiction to two U.S. citizen parents by stating that "children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond Sea, or out of the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural born Citizens".

However, the United States Naturalization Act of 1798 , which replaced the earlier version, removed the term “natural born citizen” by stating only that such persons “shall be considered as citizens of the United States.”

Subsequent revisions of the Naturalization Act have not used the term “natural born citizen” so the strict application of Article 2, Clause 5 remains undefined. It could mean that a person must be born literally on U.S. soil, or it could be considered as equivalent to the term “citizen at birth” used in subsequent versions of the Immigration and Nationality Act now included in the United States Code. If the latter interpretation is accepted, the argument that Barack Obama is not a “natural born citizen” merges with the second argument that he is not a “citizen at birth.” However, if the English common law approach is taken, “natural born citizen” would be restricted to persons themselves born withing the U.S. or in territories under its jurisdiction, based on the 14th Amendment which states that “all persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States, and of the State wherein they reside.”

The current U.S. State Department Foreign Affairs Manual includes this language: "the fact that someone is a natural born citizen pursuant to a statute does not necessarily imply that he or she is such a citizen for Constitutional purposes." In other words, a person may acquire statutory citizenship at birth due to the doctrine of jus soli, referring to place of birth within U.S. states or eligible territories, or from jus sanguinis, referring to citizenship status of parents, but statutory citizenship is not necessary the same as the Constitutional definition of “natural born citizen.” Therefore, the meaning of this term will ultimately have to be decided either by the Supreme Court or by constitutional amendment to clarify requirements to hold the office of President (and Vice President, according to the 12th Amendment that makes them the same).

The second argument holds that Barack Obama is not a citizen at birth because he was not born in the state of Hawaii as claimed, but was actually born in Mombassa, Kenya on August 4, 1961. Some sources make reference to an affidavit taken by a Kenyan ordained minister and translator purporting to be the eyewitness testimony of Obama’s paternal grandfather’s second wife Sarah Obama, stating that Barack was born in Mombassa, and that it is common knowledge in the area that this is true. The supposed affidavit was filed by Reverend Kweli Shuhubia in the US District Court for Eastern Pennsylvania just prior to the November 2008 election. The affidavit – if true – would be convincing in confirming the Kenyan birth argument.

If Obama were shown to be born outside the jurisdiction of the United States as affirmed, his citizenship at birth would not be governed by the latest version of the Immigration and Nationalization Act included in the U.S. Code Title 8, Chapter 12, Subchapter III, Part 1, Section 1401, made law on January 8, 2008. At the time of his birth on August 4, 1961, the applicable language of The Immigration and Nationality Act of June 27, 1952, 66 Stat. 163, 235, 8 U.S. Code Section 1401 (b). (Section 301 of the Act) required:

(7) A person born outside the geographical limits of the United States and its outlying possessions of parents one of whom is an alien, and the other a citizen of the United States, who prior to the birth of such person, was physically present in the United States or its outlying possessions for a period or periods totaling not less than ten years, at least five of which were after attaining the age of fourteen years.

However, the 1986 revision of the INA modified the requirement for paragraph (7) renamed (g) as follows:

(g) A person born outside the geographical limits of the United States and its outlying possessions of parents one of whom is an alien, and the other a citizen of the United States who, prior to the birth of such person, was physically present in the United States or its outlying possessions for a period or periods totaling not less than five years, at least two of which were after attaining the age of fourteen years: Provided, That any periods of honorable service in the Armed Forces of the United States, or periods of employment with the United States Government or with an international organization as that term is defined in section 1 of the International Organizations Immunities Act (59 Stat. 669; 22 U.S.C. 288) by such citizen parent, or any periods during which such citizen parent is physically present abroad as the dependent unmarried son or daughter and a member of the household of a person (A) honorably serving with the Armed Forces of the United States, or (B) employed by the United States Government or an international organization as defined in section 1 of the International Organizations Immunities Act, may be included in order to satisfy the physical-presence requirement of this paragraph. This provision shall be applicable to persons born on or after December 24, 1952, to the same extent as if it had become effective in its present form on that date.

This language change modified the number of years required of the citizen parent to have resided within the United States from 5 years to 2 years after attaining the age of 14. Furthermore it made the change cited after the word “Provided” retroactive as though the revised version were in place in 1952, but this language covered only the provision for qualifying time to meet the separate 5 year and 2 year requirements, not the requirement itself. Therefore the modification of 10 years overall and 5 years after age 14 were not made retroactive, leaving the 1952 version to govern the interval from 1952 to 1986.

The most current revision of the INA passed in January 2008 does not modify the language of paragraph (g).

This interpretation is confirmed by review of the current IRA regulation found at the U.S. State Department website:

Birth Abroad to One Citizen and One Alien Parent in Wedlock: A child born abroad to one U.S. citizen parent and one alien parent acquires U.S. citizenship at birth under Section 301(g) INA provided the citizen parent was physically present in the U.S. for the time period required by the law applicable at the time of the child's birth. (For birth on or after November 14, 1986, a period of five years physical presence, two after the age of fourteen is required. For birth between December 24, 1952 and November 13, 1986, a period of ten years, five after the age of fourteen are required for physical presence in the U.S. to transmit U.S. citizenship to the child.

Birth Abroad Out-of-Wedlock to a U.S. Citizen Mother: A child born abroad out-of-wedlock to a U.S. citizen mother may acquire U.S. citizenship under Section 301(g) INA, as made applicable by Section 309(c) INA if the mother was a U.S. citizen at the time of the child's birth, and if the mother had previously been physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for a continuous period of one year.

Section 309(c) of the Act cited above states that:

[A] person born, after December 23, 1952, outside the United States and out of wedlock shall be held to have acquired at birth the nationality status of his mother, if the mother had the nationality of the United States at the time of such person's birth, and if the mother had previously been physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for a continuous period of one year.

There is no claim made that Barack Obama’s parents were unmarried. such that he was born out of wedlock. All claims are that his parents were married.

Barack Obama’s mother was Ann Dunham (November 29, 1942 – November 7, 1995), born in Wichita, Kansas, and his father was Barack Obama, Sr., a Luou from Kenya. They were married on February 2, 1961, and Barack was born on August 4, 1961 according to his own account. Therefore, Ann Dunham was 18 years and 8 months old at the time of Barack’s birth, and did not meet the statutory requirement for having lived 10 total years in the U.S. of which 5 years followed attainment of age 14 years, the requirement that was in effect in 1961. No subsequent revision to the INA has removed this requirement by making a retroactive change to the age requirement of 301(g) even though changes to the provision concerning qualified accumulation of years in the U.S. was made retroactive.

Therefore, if Barack Obama were born not in Hawaii but in a foreign country as alleged, he would not have acquired “citizen at birth” status and would have needed to be naturalized to become a citizen. There are no claims made that this ever occurred, hence he would currently not even be a U.S. citizen [Except: see link to Michelle Obama remarks in 2008].

Consequently, the entire controversy turns on the location of Barack Obama’s birthplace. If he were born in Hawaii – as commonly believed – he would have acquired automatic citizenship based on the 14th Amendment. If not, he would not even be a U.S. citizen. This would be an amazing finding. However, Chester A. Arthur, 21st President of the United States, was quite possibly born in Lower Canada (now Quebec) with British citizenship before his family moved across the border to north Vermont, and his presidency turned out very successfully. So the real question is: does it matter?

Following are some interesting links to information sources used in this article.

US Constitution, Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5: Qualifications For Office http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article_Two_of_the_United_States_Constitution

Hawaii Health Dept.: http://hawaii.gov/health/vital-records/vital-records/latereg.html

Remarks of Michelle Obama in 2008 about Ann Dunham's marital status:
http://www.theobamafile.com/_exhibits/VeryYoungAndVerySingle.mht

Version of Sarah Obama’s statements from a Palin supporter website: http://boycottoprahsponsors.wordpress.com/2008/11/02/obamas-grandmother-insists-obama-born-in-kenya-affidavit-of-rev-kweli-shuhubia/

INA 1986 Version: http://www.theodora.com/ina_96_title_3.html

History of Revisions in Immigration Law, Includes INA 1952 312 (7)
http://www.aca.ch/hisuscit.htm

Current Link From The US State Department Website: http://travel.state.gov/law/info/info_609.html researched July 28, 2009

Obama Rushes To Judgment Without All The Facts

“One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty councils. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat.”

Woodrow T. Wilson. 28th President


This is the sad story of Rocky the foxhound, who came to an untimely end one weekend when animal control officer Harry Alabama decided to put a bullet in Rocky’s brain for attacking a neighbor’s prize rooster right in the henhouse. The victimized rooster was shown Rocky’s lifeless body, which caused him to finally calm down and return to his normal functioning with a minimum of residual clucking. The neighbor’s only comment was, “One less damn dog to worry about.”

This is how it happened. Rocky was a pretty capable foxhound that had protected many farmers in his neighborhood from having their chicken houses raided by red fox predators. Most people were pretty happy that he lived nearby, but a few were nervous about any dog prowling around anywhere near their chicken flocks. Some complained that – in the past – dogs like Rocky had chased their fowls for sport until they were too exhausted to lay any eggs. Dog lovers dismissed these allegations because they weren’t much concerned about the welfare of a bunch of birds compared with man’s best friend. People in the middle were okay with letting Rocky roam loose as long as he confined himself to running off foxes, and were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

One night, a passer-by spotted what looked like a big red fox scratching at the entryway of a henhouse belonging to her next-door neighbor, old Doc Gates. As she watched, the door opened and the intruder moved inside. Not sure of what she had witnessed, she called Rocky’s owner, Cam Bridge, on her cell phone to report it.

“Cam,” she said, “You better let Rocky out quick. I think we’ve got a fox getting after Doc’s chickens.”

“I’ll get the back door open right away,” Cam assured her. “Don’t worry, Rock’s on the job.”

Off went Rocky looking for what he thought might be yet another fox, and pretty quickly he located the source of the disturbance. Looking into the dark henhouse, he spotted a large shape walking around near the sleeping hens and barked once. The startled Rhode Island Red rooster – for that’s what the supposed red fox was – immediately began to squawk and crow, and kept it up until he woke up everyone in the neighborhood. Rocky didn’t know for sure if the rooster was supposed to be there, but unfortunately he kept looking around for a fox. Meanwhile the rooster continued making a huge commotion until feathers were flying everywhere. Since there seemed to be no fox to be found, Rocky tried to back out but the rooster just kept up with his crowing until a crown had gathered. Then someone called Animal Control.

When Harry Alabama arrived, he appraised the situation thusly. When he was younger, a beagle had bitten his cousin. Plus his Aunt Mary had once caught fleas from her ratty little Pekinese. He knew of a few others who had misadventures with stray dogs. So naturally he assumed the worst.

“What do you think?” the neighbors asked him.

“Clear cut case of canine misbehavior,” Harry announced. Taking out his pistol, he solved the problem by putting down the unfortunate Rocky right on the spot.

“Pretty stupid thing for that dog to do,” he opined. “Poor rooster, he must have been really scared. I hope he doesn’t get laryngitis from all that crowing.”

Barry D. Prez Has A Deal For You

"When ye proffer the pigge open the poke."

Fraser's Magazine (1858) reprinted from Richard Hill's (or Hilles') Common-place Book, 1530, which gave this advice to market traders

John Q. Public had a problem. The automobile he has been depending on for years showed signs of breaking down and he needed to look into replacing it with something dependable but affordable on his modest budget. So he decided to stop in at his local auto dealer for a look-see and some pricing information..

The giant neon sign looming over the all-glass double doors read: “Executive Auto Sales” and an outdoor speaker blared “Think we can’t sell you a new car? Yes we can.” As John Q. walked inside, he was immediately greeted by a tall skinny salesman with large ears and a toothy smile.

“Come in and have a seat, Mister … What’s your name?”

“John.”

“John what?”

“John Q. Public. And your name is …?”

“Barry D. Prez, Sales Manager of the Year. I take it you are looking for a new set of wheels. Well, John, you have come to the right place. In fact, the only place in town. Take a seat over there, John. If you need to take notes, raise your hand and I’ll try to talk slower, but you have to supply your own paper and pencil.” Barry pointed to a small student desk near one wall, and John Q. stared at it for a moment and then asked a question.

“Mr. Prez, I need to look into buying a new car and I’d like to check out a few of your models. What can you show me?”

“We don’t have any models on display right now.”

John was surprised and disappointed to hear this, but he decided to press on rather than waste his visit, so he made another request.

“If you don’t have a model on the floor, maybe you could show me some brochures with pictures so I can see what interests me.”

“Sorry,” Barry said, “we don’t have any pictures yet. The actual body styling is still under development back in Detroit. But I can tell you that it’s going to be spectacular.”

“Whenever they get done designing it?”

“Not “it” John, “them. Lots and lots of them.”

John Q. was puzzled. “How can there be lots of models if they haven’t been designed yet?”

“But they will, John Q. Trust me on that.”

“Well, what about some spec sheets showing what’s going to be in them. You know, like engine size, transmission choices, wheelbase, those things.”

“That’s what’s holding things up, John Q., the ‘goodies’ are still being selected. Once they agree on those, getting a model put together will be a snap.”

“What do you mean by ‘model’? I thought there would be lots of models to choose from?”

“You know that motto ‘e Pluribus Unum’?. Once they build out a lot of models, they can pick the best one and ship it right here for you.”

Now John Q. was completely disgusted. “How can I buy a car that hasn’t even been designed yet much less built. You can’t show me a picture of it, and you can’t tell me what’s going to be in it. How in the hell can I buy a new care sight unseen?”

“John, John, “ Barry scolded him, “let me remind you that your car is falling apart. I bet it won’t last another year. You need a new car, and I’m the only dealer in town.”

“But …”

“No ‘buts’, John Q. Besides, you don’t think I’d sell you a bad car, now do you?”

John Q. agreed to think about it and went home. A few weeks later, he stopped back with a down payment check, but the dealership light was turned off. On the door hung a note that dashed his hopes.

It read: “Closed until next year. Keep the faith.”