“Potential just means you ain't done it yet.” Darrell Royal, College Football Hall of Fame coach.
A week or so after winning the Nobel Peace Prize, President Obama awoke to find that the awards hadn’t stopped flowing. As he scanned his copy of USA Today while waiting for breakfast to arrive, he noticed an article below the fold that really caught his attention, so much so that he picked up the phone and ordered up an immediate meeting with his chief political advisor David Tierod and his Chief of Staff Rahm Ezekiel.
Five minutes later, the three men sat in the Oval Office and looked at each other with a mixture of bemusement and angst. The newspaper article reported a new award for Obama that none of them either anticipated or welcomed.
“Obama wins Wildoo Award,” Barack read aloud, “for most potential harm to world peace.”
“What is that?” Tierod asked.
“I’ve never heard of it before,” replied Ezekiel, “but it doesn’t sound like a good thing.”
“According to this story,” Barack told them, “this award is given once every decade to whomever has the most inherent capability to damage world peace. Apparently they believe that’s me.”
“Who gives out the award?” Tierod asked.
Barack read for a bit longer, and then answered the question. “The Principality of Potenzia. It’s some little chunk of real estate stuck in Europe between Moldavia and Transylvania.”
“What a joke,” laughed Ezekiel.
Tierod shook his head. “Don’t be too quick to blow this story off, Zeke. Anything negative that gets the attention of the media has the potential to become a political problem.”
“Oh, give me a break, David, there’s no ‘there’ there.”
Later in the morning, Robert Gibbs stopped into the Oval Office to ask the President how he should handle the Wildoo Award questions he expected at today’s press conference.
“The Washington press folks have already called about this. They want to know what bad stuff the award committee knows about you that might lead them to give you this award.”
“Nothing, man. You can’t give someone an award for being a threat to world peace before they’ve done anything to warrant it.”
“I called the U.N. rep for Potenzia, and they say it isn’t necessary to actually do anything bad, only to have the power to do it. The guy told me they started working on this award back in 2002 when Bush invaded Iraq, but it took them this long to decide on the rules. Then they got into an argument between themselves about whether they should give a prize for possible bad deeds. Some of the committee members thought it was a stretch.”
“So why did they end up deciding to do it?”
“The Nobel Prize you just got tipped the balance in the committee.”
“That’s crazy. It’s more plausible to think that I’ll do good deeds rather than evil stuff.”
“Maybe to you, but potential is potential. One more thing the U.N. guy told me. There’s a prize that goes with the award.”
Oh, really?” Obama perked up. “How much do I give away to charity this time?”
“Actually, it’s a negative award.”
“Huh!”
“It’s the same size as the Peace Prize, except that you pay them.”
“Do I get the money back if I don’t harm world peace?”
“Only if you have to give the money back to the Nobel committee if you don’t benefit world peace.”
“The whole thing is crazy!” snapped Obama.
A week or so after winning the Nobel Peace Prize, President Obama awoke to find that the awards hadn’t stopped flowing. As he scanned his copy of USA Today while waiting for breakfast to arrive, he noticed an article below the fold that really caught his attention, so much so that he picked up the phone and ordered up an immediate meeting with his chief political advisor David Tierod and his Chief of Staff Rahm Ezekiel.
Five minutes later, the three men sat in the Oval Office and looked at each other with a mixture of bemusement and angst. The newspaper article reported a new award for Obama that none of them either anticipated or welcomed.
“Obama wins Wildoo Award,” Barack read aloud, “for most potential harm to world peace.”
“What is that?” Tierod asked.
“I’ve never heard of it before,” replied Ezekiel, “but it doesn’t sound like a good thing.”
“According to this story,” Barack told them, “this award is given once every decade to whomever has the most inherent capability to damage world peace. Apparently they believe that’s me.”
“Who gives out the award?” Tierod asked.
Barack read for a bit longer, and then answered the question. “The Principality of Potenzia. It’s some little chunk of real estate stuck in Europe between Moldavia and Transylvania.”
“What a joke,” laughed Ezekiel.
Tierod shook his head. “Don’t be too quick to blow this story off, Zeke. Anything negative that gets the attention of the media has the potential to become a political problem.”
“Oh, give me a break, David, there’s no ‘there’ there.”
Later in the morning, Robert Gibbs stopped into the Oval Office to ask the President how he should handle the Wildoo Award questions he expected at today’s press conference.
“The Washington press folks have already called about this. They want to know what bad stuff the award committee knows about you that might lead them to give you this award.”
“Nothing, man. You can’t give someone an award for being a threat to world peace before they’ve done anything to warrant it.”
“I called the U.N. rep for Potenzia, and they say it isn’t necessary to actually do anything bad, only to have the power to do it. The guy told me they started working on this award back in 2002 when Bush invaded Iraq, but it took them this long to decide on the rules. Then they got into an argument between themselves about whether they should give a prize for possible bad deeds. Some of the committee members thought it was a stretch.”
“So why did they end up deciding to do it?”
“The Nobel Prize you just got tipped the balance in the committee.”
“That’s crazy. It’s more plausible to think that I’ll do good deeds rather than evil stuff.”
“Maybe to you, but potential is potential. One more thing the U.N. guy told me. There’s a prize that goes with the award.”
Oh, really?” Obama perked up. “How much do I give away to charity this time?”
“Actually, it’s a negative award.”
“Huh!”
“It’s the same size as the Peace Prize, except that you pay them.”
“Do I get the money back if I don’t harm world peace?”
“Only if you have to give the money back to the Nobel committee if you don’t benefit world peace.”
“The whole thing is crazy!” snapped Obama.
“That’s what I told the press folks, boss. The whole thing is crazy.”
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